Seminars

Human Resources

HOME

(662) 563-1162 TEL
(662) 578-0811 FAX
hadinger@panola.com

 DO YOU CONTROL OR ROLL?
- Some Points to Ponder in Your Relationships at Home and Work -

By
Paul E. Hadinger, M.P.A., Author of

"Controllers & Rollers: Do You Control Or Roll?"
(Look for hints and answers to the questions below in the book.)

General

1. At home, work or otherwise, do you control or roll? How do you know?
    

2. Is it possible to be a controller or a roller and not know it?
    

3. Do you truly want to make a change in your relationships at home, work and
   elsewhere?
    

4. When is the last time that you considered how controlling or rolling you are?
    

5. Is it possible that you are more controlling or rolling than you realize?
    

6. What can you do to deal with extremes of controlling or rolling in yourself
   or others?
    

7. Who has greater potential to become a leader: a controller or a roller? Why?
    

8. If you would like to be more of a leader than a controller, how can you change?
   Is real change possible? If so, how?
    

9. If you would like to be more of a leader than a roller, how can you change?
   Is real change possible? If so, how?
    

10. Who is likely to have the greatest difficulty changing, a controller or a roller?
     

11. How do you break and reverse habits of controlling or rolling?
     

12. What are the main characteristics of controllers and rollers?
     

13. What are the main strengths, weaknesses and fears of controllers and rollers?
     

14. What are the main self-deceptions of controllers and rollers?
     

15. What are some types of controllers and rollers?
     

16. Who (if either) is most likely to be a controller: a male or a female?
     

17. Who is stronger: a controller or a roller?
     

18. Who is more likely to remarry (if divorced or widowed): a controller or a roller?
     

19. Are you an "order-giver" or a "suggester?"
     

20. Do you explode or implode when you become angry?
     

21. Is there any difference between the "queen bee" syndrome and the "king of the hill" syndrome?
     

22. Who (if either) is more likely to be happy: a controller or a roller?
     

23. How many people (if any) do you control or have you controlled in some way(s)?
     

24. How many people (if any) control you (or formerly controlled you) in some way(s)?
     

25. What are some tactics of controllers to gain, maintain or increase control? What tactics do rollers use to deal with them?
     

26. Are the most influential people at your place of worship controllers or rollers?
     

27. How do apparently good companionships turn into tolerationships and then into master-servant relationships?

Controllers

1. If you are a controller, why is it important to you to maintain control over others?
    

2. If you are a controller, how would you be affected mentally and emotionally if your
   power and control were challenged or if you had to give up power and control?
    

3. What is the ultimate frustration of a controller who is a perfectionist?
    

4. How can controllers convert different forms of "rolling" to controlling actions?
    

5. Is it possible for a controller to destroy what he is trying to create through control measures?
    

6. If you are an extreme/strong controller, how long will it be before you turn off and turn away your spouse, significant other or others?
    

7. If you feel that you have to control others, what do you gain from this in terms of health, happiness, friends and success?
    

8. Is it possible to be controlling and loving at the same time?

Rollers

1. If you are a roller, how can you begin to crawl out of the "roller rut?"
    

2. Is it possible that you are a "closet roller" and don’t know it?
    

3. If you are still dwelling upon how you were controlled in a previous home or work relationship, are you ready for a new relationship?
    

4. Are you frustrated at seldom having your way? How do you deal with it?
    

5. Is it hard for you to be assertive? Why?
    

6. Are you tired of just letting life "happen" to you?
    

7. Are people who are rollers at work likely to be rollers at home (or vice-versa)?
    

8. If you are a roller, how long can you tolerate extremes of control over you? Do you know why you tolerate it?

   1. How much stress is this creating for you?
       

   2. How is this stress affecting your immune system and your health physically,
      as well as mentally and emotionally?
       

   3. Are you upset with yourself for giving in so often?
       

   4. Are you starting to resent the one(s) to whom you cater?
       

9. What do you gain in terms of health, happiness, friends and success by being a roller?
    

10. How would you react if you had a chance to control someone who formerly controlled you?

    ---

Controllers & Rollers and Children

1. What kind of impact can extremes of controlling and rolling have on children?
    

2. If you were exploited as a child, how could that affect you in terms of being more
   controlling or rolling as a parent or otherwise?
    

3. If you are a parent, are you rearing controllers or rollers? How do you know?
    

4. Do you believe that children know who controls and who rolls (as a parent or
   overseer) in the home?
    

5. If you are rearing your children while operating as a strong controller and/or
   interacting with your spouse as a strong controller, what happens when your
   children are big enough to rebel and use your tactics against you?

CEOs, Chairpersons, Presidents, Directors, Managers and Supervisors

1. Do you exercise leadership or controllership? How do you know?
    

2. How could an insecure HR Director be the weakest link in your company?
    

3. If any of the personnel in your company with responsibility for others are controllers instead of leaders, what are the potential implications for your bottom line?
    

4. Could failures in performance improvement initiatives be primarily the fault of
   controller-oriented personnel?
    

5. What major communication problem is usually found with controllers (who are
   usually the least aware of it)?
    

6. Do you have a means to identify controllers, rollers and leaders in your company?
    

7. What is likely to happen if rollers are promoted to positions that require that they
   exercise responsibility for others?
    

8. Do you know how to move controllers toward leadership and rollers toward greater
   assertiveness and possibly leadership?
    

9. What are some of the possible negative impacts on your company when employees
   have relationship problems outside of work?
    

10. If you are an extreme/strong controller and tout your "open door" policy at the same
    time, do you believe that this means much to employees?

Book: Controllers & Rollers: Do You Control Or Roll?
by Paul E. Hadinger, $14.95 paperback, 211 pages
ISBN 0-9655026-2-7, Publication Date: March, 2006